Well I guess this is growing up

I can remember the exact point the sobering fact that I had grown up hit me. Post night out blues, wandering through a forest with my friend, both of our brains fried. An odd situation indeed, but the soothing sounds and smells of nature outweighed our aching bodies and sleep deprived minds. We sat by a river; empty beer cans and sealable bags littered on the floor. Obviously, someone… at some point had had a good night. Regardless of the awkward silence and emotional emptiness from last nights events, it felt somewhat tranquil. Zen. Everything just felt… well. right. Hypnotized by the rippling waves, something hit me. It hit me fast because by the time the battered synapses in my brain activated the thought, it was already coming out of my mouth.

“I think I’ve grown up.”

My friend glanced at me curiously.

“Why?”

“Because everything’s starting to seem a lot more shit.”

“Out of all the hangover cures I’ve tried, being in nature has always been the best”

Nothing’s new any more. Everything is just the same but in a different context. You turn on the television and it’s the same mind numbing garbage. Fake superficial bullshit designed to make you feel more miserable about your own life. The aim ultimately being that you buy even more stuff you don’t need. These material items keep you happy temporarily, but eventually they break. Eventually the novelty wears of or they stop fulfilling you. Then it’s back to work. Sitting in an institution working your ass of to make someone else money. Don’t worry though. If you work long enough you might get the privilege of having some free time.

Weekend comes and you drown yourself in alcohol. Drinking yourself to stupidity and stumbling about, talking to all the other automatons, trying to forget the prison you’re living in. Hangover comes. Coffee, cigarettes back to work. Rinse repeat.

Same people. Same situations. Same experiences.

Same shit different year.

Live in a box. Die in a box

When you’re young every experience is new, exciting and exhilarating. The world seems bright and pristine. No responsibilities. No worries. Everything makes sense and seamlessly fits together like a game of Tetris. We are brought up with the idea that we’re different. That we won’t make the same mistakes as our parents. Our generation will clean up the malevolent shit storm that the previous one left for us. Nothing changes though, we just loop back, get old and leave it to our children’s children to deal with. We are surrounded by violence and atrocities happening all around the world. That doesn’t matter, we are young. Leave for the next generation. With this, the self perpetuating cycle of death, misery and corruption continues spinning. The more we feed the cycle the more violent it gets, and before long it will consume us until there is nothing left.

When was the point you realised that you had grown up? Leave a comment below… Well if you actually got this far without killing yourself. Bit of a morbidly depressing one today. But I thought I’d start your week with a bit of misery.

–THE LONELY WEST–

E-cigs: Let’s not be fooled again

It’s 1954. Cities are filled with smoky jazz clubs and seedy bars. The overpowering stench of burning tobacco is brimming in every corridor, restaurant and even hospital. Walking from one side of a building to another is a treacherous journey. One were your prize is irreversible lung cancer from second-hand smoke. It doesn’t matter though. 80% of Britain smoke and after all, a camel a day keeps the doctor away.

In comes the swinging sixties. Sure were all coughing our lungs up by now but who cares. Smoking makes you look intelligent and sophisticated. Inhaling burning chemicals is bad for you? Bah! That’s just a myth, you’ve been smoking too much of that evil reefer.

Okay, late 60’s now and people are starting to catch on. Smoking is at all all time low of 45% and the guys in Madison avenue are starting too freak. They utilize the ultimate brain washing machine of the media to get their message out. Smoking is everywhere. Every movie, every song and every billboard. It is clear that smoking causes death but that doesn’t stop widespread and sly manipulation to give smoking a cool and edgy look.

The tobacco industry knew they were in for trouble. So, this mass marketing continued, frantically trying to push all of the risks under the carpet and save a multi-million dollar industry. Eventually, the inevitable happened. By 1970 advertising of any tobacco products was banned across all formats. Many thought this would leave the industry in ruin, but sadly their message still stayed. The social conditioning from their genius marketing warped a generation and their children to take up smoking as a dangerous pastime. It was still perceived as cool, dangerous and edgy for many years to come and still lingers to this day. Nowadays though, thanks to the help of millions of time and money spent on anti-smoking campaigns, we can safely say that smoking is no longer cool. What’s cool about smelling like shit with lungs that look like fried chicken.

 

Hospitals and tax payers rejoiced by the late 2000’s when smoking, a huge public health issue was reaching lows such as 20% in some countries. However, their efforts were soon squandered and tore apart when one nefarious little bastard came in to spoil the party.

In barges the electronic cigarette. Fucking shit up like that overly drunk girl at a party that won’t shut up. Their EVERYWHERE. Forums, television shows, radio (Who the fuck listens to radio.) They’re portrayed as safe and somewhat beneficial to society by improving a public health issue. But wait doesn’t this sound familiar? Something we don’t know the dangers of, becoming ingrained in our culture? Portrayed as safe (Oh it’s just water vapour man.) Sounds a lot like tobacco to me.

Unregulated advertising showing cool, sophisticated and now healthy people “vaping”. Stick MTV on and you’ll see countless music videos with people smoking them. If they were cigarettes we would be up in arms. But no e-cigs are safe. The truth is we don’t know if they are safe due to lack of research. They NEED to be regulated. No not prohibited REGULATED. Letting these things lose in a society that loves mind altering substances is like throwing a trip-mine into a bouncy castle.

Granted, all research so far leads to them being safer, but to be be fair… As far as the regulation goes, I could shit in pen lid and sell that to somebody as an e-cig. We must regulate these things and stop mass marketing or we’ll end up back where we started. Back round the loop; years of research gone to waste. Look at how long it took us to convince people that cigarettes were deadly and not cool. We don’t want more dying because media and marketing told them e-cigs were safe.

Regulate e-cigs so we know who selling them and what’s going in them. Stop brainwashing people to believe it’s safe, just because it’s not a cigarette. After all, unlike the 70’s we already have some solid evidence on the dangers and previous statistics to go of. If we stop it before it starts then hopefully… We won’t be fooled again.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

The life and times of a mephedrone addict

It was a gleaming, warm and some what beautiful day in a small northern town just east of Sheffield. The sound of birds chirping and children playing, gave a sort of contrast to the bleak industry of the steel city. As tower blocks, flats and cooling towers lay in the distance, I enter Ian’s front garden. It had been a while but things changed. I got an overwhelming and uneasy feeling from just standing there. It was like being in a vacuum. Everything seemed somber, dead and miserable. Sucked of all its joy. The beauty of nature had somehow avoided this one tiny area of land. His garden was trashed. Anything that made it look good had ether been sold or destroyed, probably in a drug fueled frenzy. Nothing. Just dead silence. I knock on his door. Dead silence. Suddenly, I am greeted by the door slowly opening and the blade of a knife edging through the gap. I jolt back and gasp. The door opens fully and I am greeted by a young man. Shirt off, knife in hand and tattered tracksuit bottoms hanging of him. His skeletal figure stared at me. Eyes bloodshot.

“Oh sorry I though I owed you money” muttered Ian.

“Come in” he sighed.

The house was even deader than the garden. Ian still lived with his mum and brother but their was not a family member in sight. I remember the first time I came here, it seemed like an ordinary cheery family home. Not now. The house had an almost post-apocalyptic feel to it. Smashed glass and plates covered the floor, it was difficult to distinguish trash from ordinary household objects. No it wasn’t like this last time. The first time we had met was a few months earlier. I already known him from long ago as we used to hang around when we were kids. Although, this was the first time I had met him like this

The first meeting, he was pretty jacked up on mephedrone. Otherwise known as the infamous “mcat.” It had recently seen its first surge in popularity as a street drug after the ban. It was especially popular in the north of England. Being an economically deprived area, it thrived in this region. Often seen as a poor man’s alternative to cocaine, 17 year old Ian was already deep down the rabbit-hole.

“It’s great, it feels like a combination between MDMA and coke” he exclaimed, sat against a wall in his bedroom. He took a puff of his rolled up cigarette and continued.

“The great thing is you can function on it. I went into an exam on it the other day. I think I took to much though because the words started jiggling about.”

He had been on a pretty long-winded binge all week, so I am assuming his visual distortions were due to stimulant psychosis and sleep deprivation. Regardless of his condition, he continued and seemed in pretty high spirits. He told me how moreish it is and reminisced about the first time he took it.

“My mate gave me a gram for free because he didn’t want it. I snorted it and then I was like… What’s it supposed to do. Suddenly I just got a rush and waves of euphoria through my body. I couldn’t stop talking.”

At this point he seemed like more of a heavy recreational user than an addict. However, after about an hour of just sitting around, talking and smoking his mannerisms began to change. He became anxious, irritable and began pacing around. I guess this was the comedown. He had became pretty unresponsive and quiet now. Ian began kicking things around his room.

“Teas ready” His mums voice echoed up the stairs in a sweet and caring voice.

“Give me a fucking minute” He barked whilst tearing apart a chair.

Ian began trying to sniff anything that looked remotely like mcat. I am pretty sure he must of consumed more fluff and bits of salt than anything. Suddenly, he lights up and leaps under his bed. Snatching a metal tobacco tin he flicks it open. Inside, a small pile of white powder. Bank card in hand, he cuts up a line. Up the nose it goes. It’s all okay now.

Ian stood in the kitchen. Bags under his eyes still without a shirt and still wielding a huge butchers knife. I ask him to put down the knife as it’s making me feel a little uneasy, to which he replies in an almost demented sounding tone.

 

“You can’t be too careful. There’s a lot of dangerous people round here.”

He peers out of his blinds.

“I’m not being paranoid. Just cautious.”

It was clear that he was far into the depths of stimulant psychosis and overstimulated dopamine receptors. I wanted to know what had transpired. He eventually calmed down and we began to talk.

Shortly after our first meeting mephedrone had became the prime activity amongst Ian and his social group. The next few months became a blurry mess of chemical induced bliss and general madness. Its consumes you he said. His “friend” jack is currently on a ten gram a day habit. Jack is the same friend that drove Liam to his blade wielding state of insanity. After a falling out over money (£20), Jack and his friend colloquially known as “crackhead Steve” approached Ian in the street. A viscous combat knife in Jacks hand, steve grabbed Ian by the arms. Ian flailed about and managed to wiggle his way out of his shirt and run home. Already bent on drug induced psychosis this event did not help his paranoia.

Between pacing, panic attacks and psychotic episodes Ian continued to tell me more and more of his drug fueled experiences. He told me about the time “Mcat” dealers smashed down the door of his friends house. Wielding baseball bats, they sadistically beat Ian’s friend to a bloody pulp.

“The was nothing I could do.” Exclaimed Ian”

“I jut sat there, watched and rolled up a joint.”

He also recounted countless psychotic episode from friends including one jumping out of a window. The reason being  “Everybody could read his mind” and ” The world was conspiring against him to stop him from discovering the truth.” He told me about the countless possessions he’s stolen and sold to fund his habit. All the friends he’s lost and the sleepless nights filled with terrifying hallucinations.

Ian’s stories were abruptly interrupted by an eerie knock on the door. Ian darted across the room and peered through the blinds yet again. It was Jack. At this point I was pretty sure I was going to be caught up in the crossfire of a brutal knife fight. Jack continued to stand patiently knocking every now and then until Ian finally creeped the door slightly open.

“Fuck of. What do you want.” Blurted Ian.

“Sorry about earlier man. I was wondering if you fancied chipping twenty quid in so we could get an ounce of cat. I’m selling my Xbox.”

Outstandingly, Ian opened his door.

“Don’t steal anything.” He sneered.

About 10 minutes after making a call two mephedrone dealers entered Ians garden. Him and Jack hadn’t the money yet as they were still waiting for fellow addict Steve to get back from selling the Xbox. Ian got some deck chairs out and made a sort of semi circle. We all sat down. I sat awkwardly at the end just smoking and trying to think of something to say. Among all of the shaved head, hoodies and tracksuits I looked pretty out of place. The atmosphere was just felt of pure death and human misery. You could feel the desperation and self loathing in the air. This group of what were once childhood friends, sat there in complete silence for an hour. just waiting for their fix.

About a week after this, Ian and his friends lives truly did turn upside down. After a hard night of partying on MDMA, mephedrone and Amphetamines he tried to take his own life as a way out of the misery. His mum tried to stop him but Ian lashed out and attacked her leaving her unconscious on the floor.

I think he realized that this lifestyle was going to end in either prison or death so he though “fuck it.” A gram of mephedrone up his nostril and another five MDMA pills Ian, Jack and Steve stole one of their parents cars.
They went on the joyride of a lifetime twisted on more substances than you could name. The car was crashed and passed out in the wreckage. His “friends” left him to his death.

Months passed and I couldn’t get hold of Ian. Eventually, I managed to meet with him again, months after the incident. After the crash, he had overdosed and was going into seizures by the time the police and paramedics got their. The paramedics saved his life but he was sectioned and sent in for examination for psychosis. After months of being in a rehab and mental health intuition his condition finally improved and he is back to relatively sober and sane living.

“I just stick to the weed nowadays. All the other stuff just fucks me up.” He said, cup of coffee in hand.

I asked him about Jack and Steve and he doesn’t associate with them anymore but last he heard, Jack was in and out of court and heading on a one way ticket to prison. Turns out he moved on to “better” things such as stealing cars and armed robberies. After seeing the ruin his life was in, I was extremely happy for Ian. I was also amazed at the absolute full recovery he made mentally and psychically. I decided to take my leave. Ian left me with nothing more but a sentence.

“Life has a tendency of crashing down on you. If you don’t rebuild it you’ll be stuck in the wastes forever.”

As I wandered though the kitchen to the front door; I noticed his house seemed filled with life and joy again. Everything seemed brighter, more vibrant and happier. The birds chirped. Children played. And the sounds of summer could be heard once again.

-THE LONELY CROWDED WEST-

Why the education system fails

It’s that time of the year again. That small gap after freedom, and before the inevitable drudgery of the real world. Currently, hundreds upon thousands of neurotic teens anxiously wait for a series of various letters. Letters that at the time, seem to hold so much significance. With all the pressure from parents, teachers and society, the A-F  grading criteria can seem like a spectrum. One which determines how much of a worthless piece of shit you are.

“The highly accurate and scientific method of measuring your worthlessness.”

Of course, as many of us realize, things are not as black and white as they may seem. We hear countless stories time and time again, of highly successful people such as Richard Branson or Bill gates who flunked or simply opted out of school. On the other side of things, talented academics are finding it hard to find a job just to pay there bills. It is clear that the grades you get in school do not determine were you are headed in life. So, where does the system fail?

Well, lets start at the beginning. After the short period of fun we call childhood you are thrown into your first institution. School. If your lucky, you may make it to age 6 before the fun begins to be slowly sucked out of you. But sooner or later, it’s going to happen. Straight away you are taught to comply. Wear this uniform, Learn and do what we tell you and don’t answer back. Already at such a young age you are getting robbed of your right to choose who and what you want to be. I don’t hold as much resentment for primary schools, as with children of such a young age I guess you just need to learn the basics i.e reading and writing. However, this lack of freedom carries on into high school which is beyond absurd.

“Just turned 6 I see? GIMME ALL THAT FUN!”

By the time you reach high school, you are already conditioned into this regime of compliance. Again you have to learn what the teachers tell you to. Why? Because it’s in the curriculum. Why do we need to learn what’s in the curriculum? because it’s on the tests at the end of this grueling education journey. We are forced to learn topics we don’t particularly care about or have any practical use. This is wrong on so many levels because the thirst for knowledge and development comes from within, not from the government or societies expectations. This leads to kids not enjoying school, consequently leading to resenting learning in general due to there poor experience with the education system. After all, why would learning in other aspects of your life be satisfying if school, the supposed pinnacle of your early learning was so terrible.

Lets say you do take on board the the regime of high school and persevere to do well. What will the fruits of your labor entail? Well, the truth is that you don’t particularly “learn” anything from school. You are taught to memorize facts and figure from outdated books, brought to believe that there is only one true answer to every question. We know there isn’t, but if you don’t regurgitate the right piece of paraphrased text then you may fail the exam. Due to this you are not encouraged to voice your own opinions on subjects and school becomes more of a memory test, if anything. In the end, all you really learn from school is how to do what your told and pass standardized tests. Do education officials know this? I’m sure many of them do. Do they care? The tragic truth is that nowadays schools are a business. High test scores mean better ofsted report and a better report means more new students due to persuaded parents. What does more students mean? MORE MONEY. As usual it all boils down to that sweet sweet green stuff.

So, what is wrong with our current school system and what needs changing:

1. No creative freedom – You are taught to be compliant and not think for yourself. We need to encourage young people to use their own minds if we want a bright future not full of narrow minded idiots.
2. It’s just memory test – You are not challenged to put any of these things to practical use. Instead, you are forced to cram yourself full of knowledge to pass one lousy test. Most of what you think you have learnt will have been disposed of by your brain by the time you finish.
3. Schools are businesses – This means that the students aren’t often the faculties best interest. Rather, it’s all about statistics and not what the students got out of their time there. This reinforces the idea of ramming the curriculum down kids throats and hindering free thinking.
4. Institutionalized – What is this, George Orwell 1984? Let kids have some individuality and enjoy themselves. Then maybe… just maybe… Gasp. They may enjoy coming to school.

There are so many things wrong with our current way of doing things the systems beginning to seem archaic. A lack of individuality and creative freedom hinders young people from thinking outside the box and creating or becoming something great. I mean, who ever got anywhere by following the rules?

Video games are terrible. Who will save us?

I remember the first time I ever played my very own games console. It was a Nintendo 64 to be exact. I was captivated with with awe as I climbed mountains, dodged bullets and saved the world from the comfort of my own home. And so began a sometimes unhealthy obsession with the video games. I honestly can’t think of anything more satisfying as a kid than a new game. The sound and feeling as you tear apart the sealed plastic. Tossing the instruction manual aside and claiming your prize. Then the sweet distinct “click” of the cartridge as it enters your console and you become immersed in a world unlike your own. Mario, Banjo Kazooie, Resident evil, ZELDA! so many great games. So many good excuses to become a solitary being, living on a diet of yogurts and cheese strings. Truly the golden age of gaming (at least in my generation.) Things were looking up and they could only get better from here right?

At the time, games were seemingly on an upwards spiral to greatness. With them becoming much more noticed in mainstream media and increasingly more technologically advanced, a bright future was ahead. However, somewhere along the line something changed. They finally truly hit the mainstream market. Bigger budgets, better technology, MORE GAMES! Unfortunately, this all came at a price. Developers began marketing to the mass audience and games became less and less like games, and more like a cinematic, testosterone filled gore orgy. Gameplay value began to be discarded for hard hitting stories and  hyper realistic graphics. There was no more fun, no more item collecting and with Rareware selling their soul to Microsoft it seemed nobody could save us. We’d reached the pinnacle of great games and fell flat on our face at the hands of larger demographics and more money.

R.I.P Banjo

Now, all were left with is constant sequels and remakes of old games. Nothing original. Fifa 14, Halo 5, Call of duty whatever the hell we’re up too and countless others. There all built on huge budgets with no attention to detail, often with dull storylines and generic un-game like gameplay. In a way, I am saying we should go back to the basics. Although Nintendo often stick to the basics, just look all their games. It’s  just Mario in a variety of different situations. Come on guys think of something new. I think developers these days are too scared to go out of the norm. Due to the money being pumped into and earned on these new games it is too risky to experiment so we end up with the same recycled crap time and time again. Things look bleak. Is their anybody out there who can save us from this graveyard of disappointing games and wasted potential?

Well maybe there is. In recent years we’ve seen a surge of indie game developers beginning to surface and make breakthroughs in the industry. Some notable ones would be of cause Minecraft, Super Meat boy and Fez. All of these great games, created by individuals or small groups much like yourselves on a generally dirt cheap budget. And you know what? As far as games go they are much better than the majority of the ones hitting the market from huge companies such as EA. Why? Because all of them have one thing in common. They’re original. They pay attention to detail and recover the long lost art of subtle and interesting subtext to create something truly brilliant and artistic.

The great thing about indie games is that generally there are no limits to what can be done. The truth is, there never has never been limits in games. However, what makes  indie developers different is that they aren’t afraid to go outside of the norms and try something new. Why? Because there’s not millions invested in it, there not trying to entertain a mass audience and rush there game out for Christmas. Many indie games will make us question what a game truly is by completely going against the conventional means of playing a game. When developers experiment, stop catering to a mass audience and think for themselves. At times we get something beautiful. In these brief moments of free-thinking, video games can seem more like an art form than anything else.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Your future is pre-determined by society. How to break out of the loop

When we are young we’re told the sky is the limit. Anything is possible if you set your mind to it. We are told that your success is not reliant on race, location, social or economic status. However, as you progress through life toward the inevitable finish line, you began realizing that this is not the case.

Rich parents breed rich kids with their future already set out for them, handed on a silver platter. Poor parents raise poor kids in economically deprived areas. They end up in under resourced schools their real intelligence undermined. People from working class areas and backgrounds aren’t expected to be intelligent. Pre-determined expectations mean they are expected to be another lower-class civilian in a blue collar minimum wage job. This can be seen in our politics and media by the way in which the lower-class are constantly punished and never given a break. They will  be given the absolute minimum amount of help, all be painted with the same brush and perceived as benefit scrounging, cider drinking low lifes who are a menace to our society. This, teamed with the negative perception of the none wealthy by the media, drains the lower class of their energy, soul and motivation. trying to change their situation seems unrealistic and just not feasible.

The lower class will remain in deprived areas and brought to believe that they don’t stand a fighting chance in this world. Their children will also be painted with the same brush and expected to turn out the same way. This creates a perpetual cycle of the poor staying poor and the rich staying rich.

It’s pretty depressing but when you are in school you can pretty much predict where everybody is going to end up. Most of the time you will be right. Society has warped your perception of certain people from specific socio-economic backgrounds and created an almost cliche life path for them. These people will grow up buying into societies expectations and end up settling for less. They let go of their dreams and go for what is convenient and expected. This can be seen not just through economic status but race and gender as well. Women aren’t expected to become great. No they have to be house wives and look after the family whilst the big powerful man brings in the money. This is why their isn’t many female politicians. Many buy into the fallacy of societies pre-determined path and do what society expects.

The good news is that it is possible to break out of this twisted system and become anything you want. Not many people manage it, but it is definitely possible as we can see through many successful people who were from a background with disadvantages.  So…

How do you break out of the loop?

1. Stop doing what the media thinks you should do – Every time you give into their tactics of marketing, fear mongering and manipulation you reinforce your compliance towards their dogma. Eventually you will become another mindless zombie in front of the television, believing everything you are presented with. Learn to look out for when you are trying to be manipulated by the media and question everything you hear or see.
2. Turn of the T.V – I say this a lot but it is very important. Like I said the media like to try and warp you to buy into you pre-set out destiny.
3. Do what you think is right and not what others expect – Too many people don’t do things because they are worried about what other people may think. You need to stop this or you will be stuck in a rut following what society wants you to do and not what you want to do.
4. Realize that we are all the “same” – We are brought to believe that everyone is different and their is some sort of social ladder we need to climb. With the authoritarian like society we are brought up in it’s easy to believe that some people are superior or inferior to us. You need to realize that we are all human. Made up of the same flesh and the same blood, nobodies better than anyone else. Once you realize this you will no longer be scared or feel inferior to others, allowing you to reach brave new heights.

Breaking out of this system can be very difficult due to the constant and elaborate conditioning forced upon on us throughout every aspect of our lives. From our birth to our death we are fed lies and lead to believe we are powerless. When religion stopped working as much, the media took it’s place. Be vigilant, question everything and stay free.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

 

 

 

The internet is the key to our evolution.

In a society where freedom of speech seems to be a privilege rather than a right, the internet is a god send. Back in the day, you would have to watch the news or god forbid, read a newspaper or book for information. This is all well and good, however back then you were stuck to whatever sources the government allowed or thought was suitable. We like to think we have freedom of speech in terms of things like books, but that’s far from the truth. I mean if you wrote a book entitled “David Cameron is a cunt.” I’m pretty sure they would have something to say about it. After all, it never matters what you have to say, rather what the rich and powerful have to say.

So before the internet we were only exposed to information that the government and media  allowed. Most opinionated content was and still is watered down as to not be controversial. The media support what ever views are in their best interest and makes them money. As a result we are left with biased information and restricting censorship. Whether we like it or not, we are conditioned to believe and perceive thing the way our country wants us to.

In comes the internet. Suddenly, an endless sea of uncensored and raw information at our fingertips. Generally speaking, the internet is anonymous. People posting content were unlike the media. They weren’t scared of how the public view them or what politicians ass their kissing. It’s an open playing field. Anything goes. Finally, people weren’t limited to society pre-conceived notions and views. They had a place to bask in unregulated knowledge and vent their controversial views.

Of cause, the powerful couldn’t stomach this. Citizens with their own opinions? There’s nothing worse. A lack of information breeds narrow-minded and stupid people. The government likes stupid people because they comply and don’t question how fucked up the system is.

You can almost sense it in the air. Politicians are scared. No longer are peopled forced to be force fed the same biased shit day in and day out. Lead to believe their own lives are so miserable, the only thing to make it better is to buy and consume. We are evolving intellectually due to the internet. The rich and powerful stay in power within this corrupt system due to a lack of intellect and self proclaimed freewill. However, if you look for it you will notice people are getting smarter. Their realizing that they’re living in a prison. You only need to browse message boards such as Reddit to see the sheer number of people beginning to take a more libertarian stance against society. Times are changing. Views are changing.

Like I said, the powers above don’t like our new found intellectual and creative freedom. We are currently treading on a digital battlefield. Governments are trying to censor the internet through various tactics such as David Camerons pornography block. Some countries such as Egypt will just out right abolish it. However, for once people are fighting back. Their are many movements and a general negative census towards regulation. People are waking up, and soon enough politicians may be fighting a losing battle. If you want the human race to evolve, I urge you. Turn of the television, Fight back against censorship, don’t buy into consumerism, learn, question and discover. If we give our all against this blatant control of perception then maybe one day, we will live in a utopia rather than dystopia. A world free of censorship and consumerism where the human race can evolve and flourish.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Destiny: A worthy replacement for a dead franchise

After somewhat losing hope in the gaming industry, I stopped religiously playing games a long time ago. I tried to rekindle my love by buying Halo 4. This just increased my cynicism further. It wasn’t the same as it was back in the golden days. Halo 4 lacked the fun, excitement and just general epicness of it’s predecessors. After realizing Bungie  had not developed this particular Halo, I was very eager to try the Destiny beta when it came out. After all, this may be what we sacrificed the Halo franchise for.

Oh how I miss these days…

First Impressions

Okay, so once the game loads up you are presented with the character creation screen. Which, lets be honest, is pretty limited. Don’t get me wrong the textures look pretty great and I am already loving the color pallet, but there just isn’t much choice. Hopefully when the game is completed we will have more options.

You get a choice of three different races. Awoken, which are these weird blue avatar looking people, humans and Exo. Exo’s are probably the most bad ass looking of the classes. With their almost terminator like looks and piercing eyes their hard to resist. You aren’t really given any description or information about these races which I feel would of added a nice touch.

To be honest the classes are pretty standard, cliche and unimaginative. They way they look is great, and I feel they paid a lot of attention to detail. However, I couldn’t help but get that generic RPG feel from it.

First you get your tanked up power house. You know, shoot first ask questions later. The titan, although slow is all about taking damage and giving damage. Overall, this is a pretty bog-standard and boring class with nothing really that notable about it. If I were you, I would go for the Hunter or Warlock.

Next up is the Hunter. Yep you guessed it. A stealthy character who uses long range weapons. I like being a sneaky little bastard so I chose this guy. However, I found that their was little option for stealth in this game. It’s like halo in a sense that if you piss one enemy of, they all will come to eat your face. The hunter has a sub class called blade dancer which specializes in using his knife. I found great joy in lunging at enemies faces from half a mile away with my blade. A really nice and effective feature. One thing I did find however is that the Hunters special ability is way overpowered. When you activate it you are giving a hand cannon, which is generally speaking, a one hit kill. This can get extremely annoying in PVP (It didn’t stop me from using it though…)

Finally you get your standard magic sort of guy, who in destiny, is the warlock. This is a VERY fun class to use. The design is pretty nice and you get to glide around. You just feel genuinely powerful when using this character and I honestly think it is one of the best mage-like classes in a game like this to date.

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 Truth be told I was not expecting much after character creation. However, as soon as I heard the Halo-esque music and saw that shuttle hurdling through space, I just knew. Somehow, I just knew that this would be a game of epic proportion. The first cut-scene is extremely beautiful and cinematic. It brings back that nostalgia and wonder from the first time you ever played the long awaited Halo 3. I’m not a fan of cut-scenes you can’t skip, but why would you want to skip this. It is truly epic and a perfect start to the game.

The first mission starts classic Bungie style. Guy falls from the sky, dosen’t know who or what he his, time to shoot at some shit. Simple, but it works. This game dosen’t really let you in on much back story or plot-line, which I guess is good as it prevents exposition. However, all I really got is that I’m this guy in the future and I have to shoot at ugly stuff. FPS’s are known for weak story-lines so I’ll let Bungie of on this one.

The first mission is surprisingly pretty fun and intense. There’s no long winded tutorial, you can get straight into the action. I loved the scenery of post-apocalyptic old Russia. Also the desolate buildings you enter feel pretty sinister. The game is great at creating an atmosphere. There is darkened corridors with shadows of enemies flying past which really put you on edge.

When you bump into some enemies it can get pretty hectic. However, I found the controls and mechanics very fluid which added a well needed flow to the firefights, which many games don’t have. Aiming down the sights is quick and efficient, which puts an emphasize on accuracy and strives you to try and get good precise shots. The only initial qualm I had was that there was no real consequence for dying, and the game itself was pretty easy. However, in the missions there are parts with no respawn sections which can get pretty chaotic and frustrating. This adds a much need level of difficulty and skill to the game. The later missions also start to get pretty difficult as you progress, and their is the option to increase the difficulty which rewards you more XP.

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Multiplayer – 9/10

After completing the first mission you now have access to you “hub” if you like. This is the place where you decide where you want to go, whether it is a mission, the social zone or PVP. I straight away went to “The tower” which is the social zone with all the other players on the server. After an epic cut scene to make up for long loading times you arrive in the MMO world.

The tower is a pretty picturesque place with beautiful scenery. You can do expressions to other players, so it is not uncommon to see various dance offs happening between users. These sort of social features bring back the fun factor which Halo 4 was severely missing. There’s not much to do in the tower at the moment other then mess around and buy items. However, I can see the MMO aspects becoming probably one of the funnest parts of the full game.

The co-op is just as fast-paced as the single player and with the option to play with other random players it can get pretty fun. I really think this is a game meant to be played with friends. With things such as loot Destiny reminds me a little of Borderlands, which too, is best played co-op. However, I was itching for more loot as so far there isn’t really much. I hope Bungie makes loot a more central part of the game later on.

Once you reach level 5 you can enter PVP known in Detiny as “The Crucible.” I found the multiplayer challenging, extremely competitive yet fair. You need to be a certain level to enter different game modes and many level advantages are removed for PVP so people don’t get an unfair advantage. The objective games are very competitive and the maps are well thought out, making people actually focus on the objective, and not just kills. I really loved the PVP and although hard, it keeps less skilled players interested by still being fun and fair.

Overall, it seems Bungie has tried to cram every type of multiplayer they could into this game. Surprisingly, they have tied it all up well, with neither too much or too little in each feature. I hope to see some more development of the MMO aspects within the tower and maybe some events and custom games to increase the fun factor.

Mechanics – 10/10

The controls and mechanics of this game, like I said are just so fluid. When in a firefight, you never really lose your flow and can really get immersed in the intensity. The health system is fair, but challenging and navigation, skill sets and just general getting around is simple and intuitive. Oh and I forgot to mention, the vehicles on this game are unbelievably fast and fun to drive.

Gameplay – 7/10

It acts like a pretty basic FPS with a very borderland-esque touch to it. The gunfights can get extremely hectic and difficult, which is fun, but can get frustrating at times. Especially when you are in a no respawn zone. The missions did start getting pretty samey with pretty much identical scenery. However, I am keeping in mind it is not complete, and I hope to see more variety in the full game. Also, playing on your own isn’t near enough as fun as multiplayer so I would recommend getting some friends before you buy it. 

Presentation – 9/10

Wow. Truly beautiful. The scenery at times is breathtaking and the graphics and color pallet used are just perfect and enticing. With a truly epic soundtrack to accompany it, the designers should really be proud of themselves.

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Final Verdict

I think Bungie really nailed it this time. What I find remarkable is how they have managed to gather everything that makes a decent game and put it into one nice neat little package. If the beta is the pinnacle of the games greatness, then sure, it’s going to be a good game. However, if this is just a taster of whats to come then I have a feeling we have an iconic and incredible game in our midst.

The halo franchise may be dead and gone, but we have been offered destiny in it’s place. In my opinion it’s not that bad of a trade of. Halo was getting old anyway.

8/10

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

So you want to be a writer?

“if it doesn’t come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don’t do it.

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth

and your gut,

don’t do it.

if you have to sit for hours

staring at your computer screen

or hunched over your

typewriter

searching for words,

don’t do it.

---

if you’re doing it for money or

fame,

don’t do it.

if you’re doing it because you want

women in your bed,

don’t do it.

if you have to sit there and

rewrite it again and again,

don’t do it.

if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,

don’t do it.

if you’re trying to write like somebody

else,

forget about it.

---

if you have to wait for it to roar out of

you,

then wait patiently.

if it never does roar out of you,

do something else.

---

if you first have to read it to your wife

or your girlfriend or your boyfriend

or your parents or to anybody at all,

you’re not ready.

---

don’t be like so many writers,

don’t be like so many thousands of

people who call themselves writers,

don’t be dull and boring and

pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-

love.

the libraries of the world have

yawned themselves to

sleep

over your kind.

don’t add to that.

don’t do it.

unless it comes out of

your soul like a rocket,

unless being still would

drive you to madness or

suicide or murder,

don’t do it.

unless the sun inside you is

burning your gut,

don’t do it.

---

when it is truly time,

and if you have been chosen,

it will do it by

itself and it will keep on doing it

until you die or it dies in you.

---

there is no other way.

and there never was.”

---

Charles Bukowski, 1920 – 1994

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I think this poem speaks volumes to anyone that has tried to achieve or become great at something in their lives. Not just in terms of writing, but anyone who wants to become anything, whether it be a musician and actor or even a painter. Here Bukowski reminds us to work and persevere at our passions for the right reasons. For us remain authentic and not just try and replicate and leech of somebody else’s success. So many writers, musicians or artists try to copy other peoples styles. Style is everything and to make an impact I feel you need to put parts of yourself into your work. This can’t be done unless what you are doing creates energy, until you need your passion more than the air that breath.

What are you doing right now?

Like many people you may be stuck in a job that you hate. Doing the things that you think you should be doing. Rather than doing the things you want to be doing. Just stop for a moment. Think. Is this what I want to be doing? Is this what I am passionate about. If the answer is no then you need to throw away societies expectations and do what you love. Don’t wait for the right time. The right time is now. If it’s what you want, than the right time always and always has been now. Otherwise, you may find yourself at age 60 miserable and unfulfilled. With nothing to show for it but a nice house and a lifetime of regret.

After all, nobody sits on their death bed wishing they had spent more time working and doing things they don’t enjoy.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Some great books by Bukowski

Post Office

Women

Ham On Rye

The Pleasures of the Damned: Selected Poems 1951-1993

I hate blogging.

Hello fellow humans. Let me take some time out of your busy schedule of self-loathing and compliance, so I can welcome you to my blog. Well if you could call it that.  I like to think of it more like a series of random thoughts flimsily held together by the imaginary blocks which make up your computer screen. There’s no real purpose for this I just think it is about time I dusted up my writing. If I get a couple of readers in the process… Well that’s a bonus. At least 90 % of these so-called ‘readers’ won’t give two flying fucks about what I say. This is the internet for Christ sake. The best I got when I used to blog was the odd generic comment saying something like “I found this article fruitful, please write more.” Oh great ! you think too yourself whilst violently masturbating your already inflated ego. completely oblivious of the fact that the comment suspiciously leads to a plumbing website and the profile has posted the exact same comment for countless other blogs. NO. That doesn’t matter. Now you can go and tell all your friends how you got a comment on your blog. Did I mention that I WRITE A BLOG. Yes you did for the nine-thousand-six-hundred and sixty-fifth time this week. Nobody cares that some obscure anonymous person who you will never meet enjoys reading about your life and “liking” your “selfies”.

“An accurate (And beautiful may I add) diagram that I created in order to explain how things go down in the blogging world”

Blogging sucks there is no doubt about it. Trying to make a living from writing is the most soul-destroying and disappointing endeavor known to man that’s for sure. But there is one thing that I know for a fact. There is hope out there. Once you plow through the shit storm that is the chauvinistic and sensationalist mainstream media, maybe you will see it too. That tiny light in the distance telling you that maybe, just maybe there are people out there who aren’t just complete idiots…

Who am I kidding were all fucking idiots.

—THE LONELY CROWDED WEST—