I can remember the exact point the sobering fact that I had grown up hit me. Post night out blues, wandering through a forest with my friend, both of our brains fried. An odd situation indeed, but the soothing sounds and smells of nature outweighed our aching bodies and sleep deprived minds. We sat by a river; empty beer cans and sealable bags littered on the floor. Obviously, someone… at some point had had a good night. Regardless of the awkward silence and emotional emptiness from last nights events, it felt somewhat tranquil. Zen. Everything just felt… well. right. Hypnotized by the rippling waves, something hit me. It hit me fast because by the time the battered synapses in my brain activated the thought, it was already coming out of my mouth.
“I think I’ve grown up.”
My friend glanced at me curiously.
“Why?”
“Because everything’s starting to seem a lot more shit.”
Nothing’s new any more. Everything is just the same but in a different context. You turn on the television and it’s the same mind numbing garbage. Fake superficial bullshit designed to make you feel more miserable about your own life. The aim ultimately being that you buy even more stuff you don’t need. These material items keep you happy temporarily, but eventually they break. Eventually the novelty wears of or they stop fulfilling you. Then it’s back to work. Sitting in an institution working your ass of to make someone else money. Don’t worry though. If you work long enough you might get the privilege of having some free time.
Weekend comes and you drown yourself in alcohol. Drinking yourself to stupidity and stumbling about, talking to all the other automatons, 
trying to forget the prison you’re living in. Hangover comes. Coffee, cigarettes back to work. Rinse repeat.
Same people. Same situations. Same experiences.
Same shit different year.
Live in a box. Die in a box
When you’re young every experience is new, exciting and exhilarating. The world seems bright and pristine. No responsibilities. No worries. Everything makes sense and seamlessly fits together like a game of Tetris. We are brought up with the idea that we’re different. That we won’t make the same mistakes as our parents. Our generation will clean up the malevolent shit storm that the previous one left for us. Nothing changes though, we just loop back, get old and leave it to our children’s children to deal with. We are surrounded by violence and atrocities happening all around the world. That doesn’t matter, we are young. Leave for the next generation. With this, the self perpetuating cycle of death, misery and corruption continues spinning. The more we feed the cycle the more violent it gets, and before long it will consume us until there is nothing left.
When was the point you realised that you had grown up? Leave a comment below… Well if you actually got this far without killing yourself. Bit of a morbidly depressing one today. But I thought I’d start your week with a bit of misery.
–THE LONELY WEST–
The Lonely West 