E-cigs: Let’s not be fooled again

It’s 1954. Cities are filled with smoky jazz clubs and seedy bars. The overpowering stench of burning tobacco is brimming in every corridor, restaurant and even hospital. Walking from one side of a building to another is a treacherous journey. One were your prize is irreversible lung cancer from second-hand smoke. It doesn’t matter though. 80% of Britain smoke and after all, a camel a day keeps the doctor away.

In comes the swinging sixties. Sure were all coughing our lungs up by now but who cares. Smoking makes you look intelligent and sophisticated. Inhaling burning chemicals is bad for you? Bah! That’s just a myth, you’ve been smoking too much of that evil reefer.

Okay, late 60’s now and people are starting to catch on. Smoking is at all all time low of 45% and the guys in Madison avenue are starting too freak. They utilize the ultimate brain washing machine of the media to get their message out. Smoking is everywhere. Every movie, every song and every billboard. It is clear that smoking causes death but that doesn’t stop widespread and sly manipulation to give smoking a cool and edgy look.

The tobacco industry knew they were in for trouble. So, this mass marketing continued, frantically trying to push all of the risks under the carpet and save a multi-million dollar industry. Eventually, the inevitable happened. By 1970 advertising of any tobacco products was banned across all formats. Many thought this would leave the industry in ruin, but sadly their message still stayed. The social conditioning from their genius marketing warped a generation and their children to take up smoking as a dangerous pastime. It was still perceived as cool, dangerous and edgy for many years to come and still lingers to this day. Nowadays though, thanks to the help of millions of time and money spent on anti-smoking campaigns, we can safely say that smoking is no longer cool. What’s cool about smelling like shit with lungs that look like fried chicken.

 

Hospitals and tax payers rejoiced by the late 2000’s when smoking, a huge public health issue was reaching lows such as 20% in some countries. However, their efforts were soon squandered and tore apart when one nefarious little bastard came in to spoil the party.

In barges the electronic cigarette. Fucking shit up like that overly drunk girl at a party that won’t shut up. Their EVERYWHERE. Forums, television shows, radio (Who the fuck listens to radio.) They’re portrayed as safe and somewhat beneficial to society by improving a public health issue. But wait doesn’t this sound familiar? Something we don’t know the dangers of, becoming ingrained in our culture? Portrayed as safe (Oh it’s just water vapour man.) Sounds a lot like tobacco to me.

Unregulated advertising showing cool, sophisticated and now healthy people “vaping”. Stick MTV on and you’ll see countless music videos with people smoking them. If they were cigarettes we would be up in arms. But no e-cigs are safe. The truth is we don’t know if they are safe due to lack of research. They NEED to be regulated. No not prohibited REGULATED. Letting these things lose in a society that loves mind altering substances is like throwing a trip-mine into a bouncy castle.

Granted, all research so far leads to them being safer, but to be be fair… As far as the regulation goes, I could shit in pen lid and sell that to somebody as an e-cig. We must regulate these things and stop mass marketing or we’ll end up back where we started. Back round the loop; years of research gone to waste. Look at how long it took us to convince people that cigarettes were deadly and not cool. We don’t want more dying because media and marketing told them e-cigs were safe.

Regulate e-cigs so we know who selling them and what’s going in them. Stop brainwashing people to believe it’s safe, just because it’s not a cigarette. After all, unlike the 70’s we already have some solid evidence on the dangers and previous statistics to go of. If we stop it before it starts then hopefully… We won’t be fooled again.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Work, consume, die

I apologise to anyone who actually reads this blog , as I haven’t graced you beautiful people with any content as frequently as usual. Well it’s not like anyone reads this blog. However, I’m just hanging onto that last bleak fragment of hope that someone out their in the world gives a fuck about what I have to say. It’s depressing, grim and of cause dismal coming to terms with the fact that nobody gives two flying shits about you. The ideology that every conversation you have and ever will have is just a means of getting some sort of gain from the opposing party. The actuality that no matter how terrible and sickening the real world can get, there is NOTHING you can do about it.  As you can tell already, this is going to be a cynical roller-coaster ride of hopelessness and self indulgent bullshit. But hey, It’s been a few days since made a post or written anything for that matter. Therefore, a lot of over-analysed and repressed ocean of cynicism are about to be spilled over your computer screen. For that my dear reader I apologise to my fullest extent.

What’s the purpose of life ? Why am I here ? What’s the point ? I guarantee that everyone has asked these questions at some point in their life. I know I have. Iv’e spent so much time pondering this and I sure as hell know it is not the number 42 (Sorry Sci-fi fans ! back to social reclusion for you.) However, regardless of what we are exactly on this planet to do, the most logical course of action would be simple. ENJOY OURSELVES. Sadly members of my fellow species this is not the case. We struggle day in and day out killing ourselves mentally and physically  And for what ? A few pieces of paper with some politician or royals face on it. A shard of metal which you can exchange for a drink to numb the pain of the world outside. They say the world outside is a cruel unforgiving place and that may be true. However, it is only that way because WE MADE IT THAT WAY. I truly believe what lies beyond this viscous cycle of work, consume and die is far more beautiful than we can comprehend.

“Honestly guys couldn’t think of a good image accompanied by a witty caption to give you for this paragraph. So yet again. Here’s an optical illusion to keep you entertained as you scroll down.”

Sure you can sit their on your high horses complaining about the ‘ills of society’ but what the fuck have ever done but moan. Most people will sit in their comfy homes in the white middle-class suburban neighbour-hood pretending to care about ‘The starving children’. Or any other particular cause that is the fad at the present time. So they donate money to a charity, not for the cause but for themselves. This ironically brings us to believe that donating to charity is a selfish task. Well it is if you think about it, as most people do it to feel better about themselves, giving them the morale high-ground and feeding the hungry ego. There own lives are shallow and un-fulfilling  so they compensate by absorbing mind numbing pop music whilst sipping from a wine bottle and watching reality T.V. Letting the media warp their opinions from behind an LCD screen, distracting them like a parent dangling a set of keys in front of a baby. Life was not meant to be lived this way. It’s about discovery, love and new experiences. Sadly, many of these options are taken away from us in the modern age. Were lead to believe we should be shackled, only responding to commands from our overloads. Like an army of robots performing millions of tasks ultimate leading to nothing. What can we do you may ask. The truth is nothing. All we can do is what we have been doing countless years throughout time. Live.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

 

The life and times of a mephedrone addict

It was a gleaming, warm and some what beautiful day in a small northern town just east of Sheffield. The sound of birds chirping and children playing, gave a sort of contrast to the bleak industry of the steel city. As tower blocks, flats and cooling towers lay in the distance, I enter Ian’s front garden. It had been a while but things changed. I got an overwhelming and uneasy feeling from just standing there. It was like being in a vacuum. Everything seemed somber, dead and miserable. Sucked of all its joy. The beauty of nature had somehow avoided this one tiny area of land. His garden was trashed. Anything that made it look good had ether been sold or destroyed, probably in a drug fueled frenzy. Nothing. Just dead silence. I knock on his door. Dead silence. Suddenly, I am greeted by the door slowly opening and the blade of a knife edging through the gap. I jolt back and gasp. The door opens fully and I am greeted by a young man. Shirt off, knife in hand and tattered tracksuit bottoms hanging of him. His skeletal figure stared at me. Eyes bloodshot.

“Oh sorry I though I owed you money” muttered Ian.

“Come in” he sighed.

The house was even deader than the garden. Ian still lived with his mum and brother but their was not a family member in sight. I remember the first time I came here, it seemed like an ordinary cheery family home. Not now. The house had an almost post-apocalyptic feel to it. Smashed glass and plates covered the floor, it was difficult to distinguish trash from ordinary household objects. No it wasn’t like this last time. The first time we had met was a few months earlier. I already known him from long ago as we used to hang around when we were kids. Although, this was the first time I had met him like this

The first meeting, he was pretty jacked up on mephedrone. Otherwise known as the infamous “mcat.” It had recently seen its first surge in popularity as a street drug after the ban. It was especially popular in the north of England. Being an economically deprived area, it thrived in this region. Often seen as a poor man’s alternative to cocaine, 17 year old Ian was already deep down the rabbit-hole.

“It’s great, it feels like a combination between MDMA and coke” he exclaimed, sat against a wall in his bedroom. He took a puff of his rolled up cigarette and continued.

“The great thing is you can function on it. I went into an exam on it the other day. I think I took to much though because the words started jiggling about.”

He had been on a pretty long-winded binge all week, so I am assuming his visual distortions were due to stimulant psychosis and sleep deprivation. Regardless of his condition, he continued and seemed in pretty high spirits. He told me how moreish it is and reminisced about the first time he took it.

“My mate gave me a gram for free because he didn’t want it. I snorted it and then I was like… What’s it supposed to do. Suddenly I just got a rush and waves of euphoria through my body. I couldn’t stop talking.”

At this point he seemed like more of a heavy recreational user than an addict. However, after about an hour of just sitting around, talking and smoking his mannerisms began to change. He became anxious, irritable and began pacing around. I guess this was the comedown. He had became pretty unresponsive and quiet now. Ian began kicking things around his room.

“Teas ready” His mums voice echoed up the stairs in a sweet and caring voice.

“Give me a fucking minute” He barked whilst tearing apart a chair.

Ian began trying to sniff anything that looked remotely like mcat. I am pretty sure he must of consumed more fluff and bits of salt than anything. Suddenly, he lights up and leaps under his bed. Snatching a metal tobacco tin he flicks it open. Inside, a small pile of white powder. Bank card in hand, he cuts up a line. Up the nose it goes. It’s all okay now.

Ian stood in the kitchen. Bags under his eyes still without a shirt and still wielding a huge butchers knife. I ask him to put down the knife as it’s making me feel a little uneasy, to which he replies in an almost demented sounding tone.

 

“You can’t be too careful. There’s a lot of dangerous people round here.”

He peers out of his blinds.

“I’m not being paranoid. Just cautious.”

It was clear that he was far into the depths of stimulant psychosis and overstimulated dopamine receptors. I wanted to know what had transpired. He eventually calmed down and we began to talk.

Shortly after our first meeting mephedrone had became the prime activity amongst Ian and his social group. The next few months became a blurry mess of chemical induced bliss and general madness. Its consumes you he said. His “friend” jack is currently on a ten gram a day habit. Jack is the same friend that drove Liam to his blade wielding state of insanity. After a falling out over money (£20), Jack and his friend colloquially known as “crackhead Steve” approached Ian in the street. A viscous combat knife in Jacks hand, steve grabbed Ian by the arms. Ian flailed about and managed to wiggle his way out of his shirt and run home. Already bent on drug induced psychosis this event did not help his paranoia.

Between pacing, panic attacks and psychotic episodes Ian continued to tell me more and more of his drug fueled experiences. He told me about the time “Mcat” dealers smashed down the door of his friends house. Wielding baseball bats, they sadistically beat Ian’s friend to a bloody pulp.

“The was nothing I could do.” Exclaimed Ian”

“I jut sat there, watched and rolled up a joint.”

He also recounted countless psychotic episode from friends including one jumping out of a window. The reason being  “Everybody could read his mind” and ” The world was conspiring against him to stop him from discovering the truth.” He told me about the countless possessions he’s stolen and sold to fund his habit. All the friends he’s lost and the sleepless nights filled with terrifying hallucinations.

Ian’s stories were abruptly interrupted by an eerie knock on the door. Ian darted across the room and peered through the blinds yet again. It was Jack. At this point I was pretty sure I was going to be caught up in the crossfire of a brutal knife fight. Jack continued to stand patiently knocking every now and then until Ian finally creeped the door slightly open.

“Fuck of. What do you want.” Blurted Ian.

“Sorry about earlier man. I was wondering if you fancied chipping twenty quid in so we could get an ounce of cat. I’m selling my Xbox.”

Outstandingly, Ian opened his door.

“Don’t steal anything.” He sneered.

About 10 minutes after making a call two mephedrone dealers entered Ians garden. Him and Jack hadn’t the money yet as they were still waiting for fellow addict Steve to get back from selling the Xbox. Ian got some deck chairs out and made a sort of semi circle. We all sat down. I sat awkwardly at the end just smoking and trying to think of something to say. Among all of the shaved head, hoodies and tracksuits I looked pretty out of place. The atmosphere was just felt of pure death and human misery. You could feel the desperation and self loathing in the air. This group of what were once childhood friends, sat there in complete silence for an hour. just waiting for their fix.

About a week after this, Ian and his friends lives truly did turn upside down. After a hard night of partying on MDMA, mephedrone and Amphetamines he tried to take his own life as a way out of the misery. His mum tried to stop him but Ian lashed out and attacked her leaving her unconscious on the floor.

I think he realized that this lifestyle was going to end in either prison or death so he though “fuck it.” A gram of mephedrone up his nostril and another five MDMA pills Ian, Jack and Steve stole one of their parents cars.
They went on the joyride of a lifetime twisted on more substances than you could name. The car was crashed and passed out in the wreckage. His “friends” left him to his death.

Months passed and I couldn’t get hold of Ian. Eventually, I managed to meet with him again, months after the incident. After the crash, he had overdosed and was going into seizures by the time the police and paramedics got their. The paramedics saved his life but he was sectioned and sent in for examination for psychosis. After months of being in a rehab and mental health intuition his condition finally improved and he is back to relatively sober and sane living.

“I just stick to the weed nowadays. All the other stuff just fucks me up.” He said, cup of coffee in hand.

I asked him about Jack and Steve and he doesn’t associate with them anymore but last he heard, Jack was in and out of court and heading on a one way ticket to prison. Turns out he moved on to “better” things such as stealing cars and armed robberies. After seeing the ruin his life was in, I was extremely happy for Ian. I was also amazed at the absolute full recovery he made mentally and psychically. I decided to take my leave. Ian left me with nothing more but a sentence.

“Life has a tendency of crashing down on you. If you don’t rebuild it you’ll be stuck in the wastes forever.”

As I wandered though the kitchen to the front door; I noticed his house seemed filled with life and joy again. Everything seemed brighter, more vibrant and happier. The birds chirped. Children played. And the sounds of summer could be heard once again.

-THE LONELY CROWDED WEST-

Reality: When it hits, you know it…

There comes a point in everybody’s life were reality begins to rear it’s ugly head. This normally happens upon finishing university, being in so much debt that you’re considering prostitution and realising you’re probably not going to get a job. When this eventually happens it’s back to square one.  Yes, back to the good old days of dwelling in your parents’ basement playing World Of Warcraft. Well, I am still of a young tender age, and studying in college, however, I had this epiphany recently. Of course, I wouldn’t call it an epiphany. This is because epiphanies are normally enlightening. I would think of it more as a sack a fresh toasty shit hurdled straight at the face.

“You know what would go well with that masters degree… A heaping sack of REALITY!”

This crude picture is an accurate representation of how such an epiphany happens. I apologise for the shoddy Photoshop job, turns out searching ‘sack of shit flying at man’s face’ in Google images isn’t as good of an idea as it seems. As I have stated, I am currently studying at college. A media course to be precise. Okay, I thought applying for this course seemed like the best idea I’ve had all decade. However, I was mistaken. I went in with the idea of completing the course then going to university to study journalism. After this? Well, yes, you guessed it: try and get a job in the field of journalism. How naive I was thinking it could be that simple. Media! Wow, how many teenagers have taken that in college? Hundreds upon hundreds I bet. All so they can sit and play with a camera all day. I honestly feel like college in general is just a waste of time, by the time I get into the world of work I will have no experience. This is because all the years that could have been spent working were spent in education. I guess I’m just going to finish college and spend my nights drinking alcohol in a bottomless pit of self loathing and regret. That’s great! It’s basically journalism anyway. Just without the writing…and without the pay.

“Just another day at the office”

I am going to finish up with just a couple of thoughts because most people don’t enjoy reading lengthy articles. They would rather be spoon fed a short one with a few funny pictures. Me personally, I would be happy living in a groggy flat playing my guitar on a low paid job.  Having astronomical amounts of money has never really seemed appealing to me. Although, I feel the reason I went to college is because I know I have potential. Not trying to sound like a pretentious piece of shit but I know I do. Due to this, I think if I just squandered my chances at success it would be an insult. Not an insult to my parents or family but to the people who never stood a chance. The people that don’t have any talent or never did well academically. I’m sorry this post is getting pretty soppy now.  Don’t worry ill just stick a picture of an optical illusion in at the end to keep you idiots entertained.

“Whoa dude”

What is going on… Seriously

What is the meaning of life? An often cliche’ question that has boggled the minds of philosophers and scientists alike. Many people across the ages have yearned to know the answer this. Well, to be fair you can’t blame them. All this talk about politics, the weather and all the other pointless shit, nobodies looking at the big picture. Look at it this way. We’re on this gigantic rock of dirt. Hurdling through space. Next to a gigantic ball of fire. If you just think about that for a moment, it really begs the question… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!”

Right now you are a fleshy blood vessel made up of microscopic cells and even smaller particles. Among your other millions of fleshy vessels you are held down by a force called gravity. A force that cannot been seen smelled or even touched. Every single variable and possibility ever so suspiciously perfect and seemingly thought out.

Within this vessel we call our bodies we have a brain. An organ that uses chemicals and electrical signals to help us perceive reality. As you sit here reading this article your brain is interpreting these series of pixels which make up the English language. Set out on a black box with a screen made up of small LED lights and circuitry. Your black box networked to millions of others, seamlessly connecting through a series of 1’s and 0’s flying across a virtual world within our own.

Maybe, after you read this you’ll decide to call a friend and go round theirs (tell them about how good my blog is.) You will pick up a box and the vibrations of your vocal chords will be received into this box. This information will oscillate in a wave  to your friend miles away into his little box. If this isn’t strange enough, next you’ll get into a box with wheels attached to it. With this you will fly across time and space and reach your friend who lives in an even bigger box made of bricks

Don’t tell me you know what is going on because in the grand scheme of things… reality is bat shit insane. We have just grown accustomed to it and well… we just accept it for what it is. I mean, if somebody looked at our universe from a completely unbiased standpoint it would blow their mind. Imagine being outside of our reality and just observing the way we live. Millions of tiny mammals running around. Completing medial tasks for other people in order to get pieces of paper  that can be used to acquire items and services. Life is just the most insane drug trip conceivable.

“Whoa Trippy man”

How can we expect to find meaning in all of this when we don’t even have the faintest clue of whats going on. We don’t even know if this world is real or how the universe even keeps itself together so neatly and perfectly. In my opinion, there is no meaning to life. Meaning itself is a concept created by humans. A way of trying to understanding this crazy nonsensical existence. You can attach whatever human concepts you like to reality to make you feel better and less alone. But… At the end of the day, meaning is a man made concept. I’m sure the real truth is something impossible for us to even comprehend.

Overall, I find it truly fascinating how the universe is so precisely and put together. It really is beautiful. The way we can put together mathematical equations and everything just seems to add up. However… It doesn’t always add up. Everything is not what it seems and I think our reality is much more complex than we could ever conceive. No amount of science or technology is going to explain everything, So just enjoy what you are presented with. There’s nothing else you can do. Take a step back  from the drudgery of the rat race. Just for a moment. Breath in the oxygen, and appreciate the true beauty of the chaotic and random world we find ourselves living in. Because when you look at it the right way. Even chaos can be beautiful.

“Just to remind you how insignificant you really are.”

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Why the education system fails

It’s that time of the year again. That small gap after freedom, and before the inevitable drudgery of the real world. Currently, hundreds upon thousands of neurotic teens anxiously wait for a series of various letters. Letters that at the time, seem to hold so much significance. With all the pressure from parents, teachers and society, the A-F  grading criteria can seem like a spectrum. One which determines how much of a worthless piece of shit you are.

“The highly accurate and scientific method of measuring your worthlessness.”

Of course, as many of us realize, things are not as black and white as they may seem. We hear countless stories time and time again, of highly successful people such as Richard Branson or Bill gates who flunked or simply opted out of school. On the other side of things, talented academics are finding it hard to find a job just to pay there bills. It is clear that the grades you get in school do not determine were you are headed in life. So, where does the system fail?

Well, lets start at the beginning. After the short period of fun we call childhood you are thrown into your first institution. School. If your lucky, you may make it to age 6 before the fun begins to be slowly sucked out of you. But sooner or later, it’s going to happen. Straight away you are taught to comply. Wear this uniform, Learn and do what we tell you and don’t answer back. Already at such a young age you are getting robbed of your right to choose who and what you want to be. I don’t hold as much resentment for primary schools, as with children of such a young age I guess you just need to learn the basics i.e reading and writing. However, this lack of freedom carries on into high school which is beyond absurd.

“Just turned 6 I see? GIMME ALL THAT FUN!”

By the time you reach high school, you are already conditioned into this regime of compliance. Again you have to learn what the teachers tell you to. Why? Because it’s in the curriculum. Why do we need to learn what’s in the curriculum? because it’s on the tests at the end of this grueling education journey. We are forced to learn topics we don’t particularly care about or have any practical use. This is wrong on so many levels because the thirst for knowledge and development comes from within, not from the government or societies expectations. This leads to kids not enjoying school, consequently leading to resenting learning in general due to there poor experience with the education system. After all, why would learning in other aspects of your life be satisfying if school, the supposed pinnacle of your early learning was so terrible.

Lets say you do take on board the the regime of high school and persevere to do well. What will the fruits of your labor entail? Well, the truth is that you don’t particularly “learn” anything from school. You are taught to memorize facts and figure from outdated books, brought to believe that there is only one true answer to every question. We know there isn’t, but if you don’t regurgitate the right piece of paraphrased text then you may fail the exam. Due to this you are not encouraged to voice your own opinions on subjects and school becomes more of a memory test, if anything. In the end, all you really learn from school is how to do what your told and pass standardized tests. Do education officials know this? I’m sure many of them do. Do they care? The tragic truth is that nowadays schools are a business. High test scores mean better ofsted report and a better report means more new students due to persuaded parents. What does more students mean? MORE MONEY. As usual it all boils down to that sweet sweet green stuff.

So, what is wrong with our current school system and what needs changing:

1. No creative freedom – You are taught to be compliant and not think for yourself. We need to encourage young people to use their own minds if we want a bright future not full of narrow minded idiots.
2. It’s just memory test – You are not challenged to put any of these things to practical use. Instead, you are forced to cram yourself full of knowledge to pass one lousy test. Most of what you think you have learnt will have been disposed of by your brain by the time you finish.
3. Schools are businesses – This means that the students aren’t often the faculties best interest. Rather, it’s all about statistics and not what the students got out of their time there. This reinforces the idea of ramming the curriculum down kids throats and hindering free thinking.
4. Institutionalized – What is this, George Orwell 1984? Let kids have some individuality and enjoy themselves. Then maybe… just maybe… Gasp. They may enjoy coming to school.

There are so many things wrong with our current way of doing things the systems beginning to seem archaic. A lack of individuality and creative freedom hinders young people from thinking outside the box and creating or becoming something great. I mean, who ever got anywhere by following the rules?

My life-changing experience with the spirit molecule

I’ve been hesitant about posting this for quite some time now. Not that I’m the sort of person to care what other people think. Rather, I know full well the public’s ludicrous and negative perception on any intoxicating substance. Well, any that isn’t alcohol, caffeine, nicotine or countless prescription medication. Legal drugs that come with damaging side effects and sometimes crippling addictive potential. Often more so than those in the illegal class. Regardless of my opinions, wanting to get into a journalistic profession; I did not want to harm my professional reputation. However, this is one of those things that would be criminal not to share.

DMT. Often regarded as the spirit molecule. The key to open the doors of perception. A way of taking a peek at the inner-workings of our universe. It is the active ingredient in the drink Ayahuasca, the medicine used in many shamanic rituals in the eastern world to supposedly have profound visions and heal the soul. In the west, it is extremely rare and often sought after by the likes of hippies and psychonauts alike. Although not the sort of substance you get from your local dealer, if you can get hold of it; the drug will usually be in the form of freebase DMT. A smokable medium with rapid onset and a sort duration. It’s sort of fitting in our fast paced society, condensing a profound spiritual experience into a mere ten minutes.

This happened quite some time ago. However, it’s the sort of experience that burns in your memory forever.

I hunch on the edge of my friends tattered and creaky sofa. It had seen better days. The television is playing “The spirit molecule” in the distance. Sort of a prepping us for the experience. Beforehand, I was eager and excited to try this after so much I had read. However, apprehension fills my core as I gaze into the hypnotic smoke filling our makeshift crack-pipe. I just sit. I stare. I can’t bring my self to inhale this smoke I’ve been waiting so long to taste. Finally, I take one last look at my friend, the reality I know and swiftly remove the lid of our pipe.

Crudely put together out of a plastic bottle and foil, the smoke begins seeping out. My heart is beating faster and faster as I fumble to get my mouth around the top. I deeply inhale, my heart just keeps racing. Faster and faster, beating out of my chest. The thin smoke pierces through my throat, as I try with all my might not to cough it back out. It tastes earthy with a hint of lavender. As I breath out an extreme feeling of panic and trepidation washes over me. “Oh no what have done.”

The colors in the room begin to drain away. Everything appears more angular and exaggerated. Every cell in my body begins buzzing and vibrating. It started slowly. A high pitched frequency suddenly builds up and consumes my hearing. Ehhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s getting louder and more intense. EHHHHHHHHHHHH. The body vibrations are getting extremely overly intense. They feel like what I can only describe as a full body orgasm. Except 100x more powerful than any orgasm you could image. It felt TOO GOOD. I am in fight or flight mode now. We went into this experience to naive. Thousands of anxious thoughts flooded my mind.

“You’ve done this time, your not coming back.”

EHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the frequency continued…

“Why do you do this to yourself.”

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s almost deafening now…

“I’m dying. I am literally DYING.”

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The room is becoming discombobulated and drifting away. I knew now that I wasn’t coming back. I decided to face my fears. I accepted death and just let go.

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

BOOM!

Suddenly the room EXPLODES. Every piece of matter around me tears it’s self apart and reality collapses in on itself. All I can hear is what sounds like a rocket taking of. My body is shot through time and space at the speed of light as I hang onto the sides of the chair trying to ground myself to something. Anything, just to keep me in this reality. It’s too late. I’ve left this psychical world.

As I blast through the universe at warp speed I see every piece of knowledge and information known to man. It’s all happening so fast I can’t even digest any of the information. Intricate kaleidoscopes consume my vision and my ego is shattered. Time is irrelevant. Past, present and future have became one solid state. The whole universe. One vibrational wave of energy refined down to a single point.

Suddenly, there is silence. I am stopped in completely nothingness. A void of complete and utter emptiness. No color. No sound. Nothing. Is this death?  I thought about my family. Everybody that cared about me. The privileged and great life I had been given. I thought about my friend next to me in the physical world. How he would see me die. I can’t die now! I’m not ready. After I i went through this thought pattern a series of beautiful colored triangles begin falling from the nothingness. Every emotion possible envelopes my very being and I am slowly let down back into our psychical reality.

Suddenly my eyes fly open and I am back in the room. Everything has a glowing aura around it. My friend grabs my shoulder. His voice filled with excitement and wonder…

“How was it! How was it!

I stare at him as his face melts and his body is broken down into its basic molecular structure.

“Give me a minute.”

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Books

DMT: The Spirit Molecule – Rick Strassman

The Doors of Perception: And Heaven and Hell – Aldous Huxley

Pihkal: A Chemical Love Story – Alexander Shulgin

Tihkal: The Continuation – Alexander Shulgin

Media

The spirit molecule (Full documentary)

DMT: Before and after – London Real

Terrence Mckenna – Everything you need to know about DMT

Free Resources

Erowid DMT Vault

Reddit DMT forum

 

 

The impossible to answer question about music

It was a bitter and brisk winters day. Outside, in the cold December air I light up a cigarette. Deeply, I inhale the bittersweet chemicals and carcinogens. Just hopelessly fighting to drain the last bit of pleasure out of my break. Suddenly, my tranquility is shattered by the unthinkable. Another human being. To make it worse he is a colleague of mine. I put on my best “I give a fuck face” and engage in mind numbing small talk. All was going as bland and awkward as usual, but then came the the question. A question which makes every cell in my body shudder. Surely he’s not going to say it. Oh DEAR GOD, here it comes…

“What sort of music do you like.”

How is anybody that appreciates music POSSIBLY meant to answer this? It’s like asking somebody what sort of oxygen they like to breath. Music is music. Society has a tendency of classifying and categorizing every little thing. Yes, this is convenient and efficient for types of music but WHY do people feel the need to tie themselves onto a specific genre. Again, people feed society cliche’ expectations. “I am this sort of person. I should like this music.” Coincidentally getting get stuck on one type of music because they feel that that’s the type of music they should listen to.

I too, fell into this trap when was younger. Hey, I’m an angsty teenager with long hair. Looks like I have to listen to metal. Then anything outside of metal was seen as obsolete and not worth my time. Even if I enjoyed a piece of music, if it was by a contradictory artist to my style then it was a big no.

The human race seems adamant on putting everything into groups and categories. Why? Because it’s the best feeble attempt we have at making sense of this complex world. Sometimes it can feel like theirs some sort of all powerful deity. Creating us out of a mold. “Misanthropic chubby male with long black hair and patchy facial beard. This one shall be a Slipknot fan.” Oh wait that’s the media.

“Not nice. I’m un-following you now Tom.”

As I’ve gotten older I have realized that things are not as simple as this. The purpose of music is to evoke emotional response through the use of sound. Every piece of music does this and regardless of how or what instruments they use. It is still music. I beg you. take a chance and listen to something new. Broaden your horizons or you’ll be stuck as the media’s mule, listening to the same shit on repeat until the end of your days.

Music has and always will be, a series of pitches and frequencies which vibrate your ear drum in such a specific way that it sounds nice.

So to answer you question. I like music.

So, readers how do you answer this painful question when it arises? After, all it’s a pretty tough one. You could go with the tried and tested “I like all sorts of music” but lets be honest, that’s just a shit answer to a shit question. With me, it’s normally followed by a series of “um… ums… hmmm…” until the person either goes away, or dies spectacular and spontaneous death. Whatever your answer, leave it as a comment below. As I am truly stumped.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Video games are terrible. Who will save us?

I remember the first time I ever played my very own games console. It was a Nintendo 64 to be exact. I was captivated with with awe as I climbed mountains, dodged bullets and saved the world from the comfort of my own home. And so began a sometimes unhealthy obsession with the video games. I honestly can’t think of anything more satisfying as a kid than a new game. The sound and feeling as you tear apart the sealed plastic. Tossing the instruction manual aside and claiming your prize. Then the sweet distinct “click” of the cartridge as it enters your console and you become immersed in a world unlike your own. Mario, Banjo Kazooie, Resident evil, ZELDA! so many great games. So many good excuses to become a solitary being, living on a diet of yogurts and cheese strings. Truly the golden age of gaming (at least in my generation.) Things were looking up and they could only get better from here right?

At the time, games were seemingly on an upwards spiral to greatness. With them becoming much more noticed in mainstream media and increasingly more technologically advanced, a bright future was ahead. However, somewhere along the line something changed. They finally truly hit the mainstream market. Bigger budgets, better technology, MORE GAMES! Unfortunately, this all came at a price. Developers began marketing to the mass audience and games became less and less like games, and more like a cinematic, testosterone filled gore orgy. Gameplay value began to be discarded for hard hitting stories and  hyper realistic graphics. There was no more fun, no more item collecting and with Rareware selling their soul to Microsoft it seemed nobody could save us. We’d reached the pinnacle of great games and fell flat on our face at the hands of larger demographics and more money.

R.I.P Banjo

Now, all were left with is constant sequels and remakes of old games. Nothing original. Fifa 14, Halo 5, Call of duty whatever the hell we’re up too and countless others. There all built on huge budgets with no attention to detail, often with dull storylines and generic un-game like gameplay. In a way, I am saying we should go back to the basics. Although Nintendo often stick to the basics, just look all their games. It’s  just Mario in a variety of different situations. Come on guys think of something new. I think developers these days are too scared to go out of the norm. Due to the money being pumped into and earned on these new games it is too risky to experiment so we end up with the same recycled crap time and time again. Things look bleak. Is their anybody out there who can save us from this graveyard of disappointing games and wasted potential?

Well maybe there is. In recent years we’ve seen a surge of indie game developers beginning to surface and make breakthroughs in the industry. Some notable ones would be of cause Minecraft, Super Meat boy and Fez. All of these great games, created by individuals or small groups much like yourselves on a generally dirt cheap budget. And you know what? As far as games go they are much better than the majority of the ones hitting the market from huge companies such as EA. Why? Because all of them have one thing in common. They’re original. They pay attention to detail and recover the long lost art of subtle and interesting subtext to create something truly brilliant and artistic.

The great thing about indie games is that generally there are no limits to what can be done. The truth is, there never has never been limits in games. However, what makes  indie developers different is that they aren’t afraid to go outside of the norms and try something new. Why? Because there’s not millions invested in it, there not trying to entertain a mass audience and rush there game out for Christmas. Many indie games will make us question what a game truly is by completely going against the conventional means of playing a game. When developers experiment, stop catering to a mass audience and think for themselves. At times we get something beautiful. In these brief moments of free-thinking, video games can seem more like an art form than anything else.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–

Your future is pre-determined by society. How to break out of the loop

When we are young we’re told the sky is the limit. Anything is possible if you set your mind to it. We are told that your success is not reliant on race, location, social or economic status. However, as you progress through life toward the inevitable finish line, you began realizing that this is not the case.

Rich parents breed rich kids with their future already set out for them, handed on a silver platter. Poor parents raise poor kids in economically deprived areas. They end up in under resourced schools their real intelligence undermined. People from working class areas and backgrounds aren’t expected to be intelligent. Pre-determined expectations mean they are expected to be another lower-class civilian in a blue collar minimum wage job. This can be seen in our politics and media by the way in which the lower-class are constantly punished and never given a break. They will  be given the absolute minimum amount of help, all be painted with the same brush and perceived as benefit scrounging, cider drinking low lifes who are a menace to our society. This, teamed with the negative perception of the none wealthy by the media, drains the lower class of their energy, soul and motivation. trying to change their situation seems unrealistic and just not feasible.

The lower class will remain in deprived areas and brought to believe that they don’t stand a fighting chance in this world. Their children will also be painted with the same brush and expected to turn out the same way. This creates a perpetual cycle of the poor staying poor and the rich staying rich.

It’s pretty depressing but when you are in school you can pretty much predict where everybody is going to end up. Most of the time you will be right. Society has warped your perception of certain people from specific socio-economic backgrounds and created an almost cliche life path for them. These people will grow up buying into societies expectations and end up settling for less. They let go of their dreams and go for what is convenient and expected. This can be seen not just through economic status but race and gender as well. Women aren’t expected to become great. No they have to be house wives and look after the family whilst the big powerful man brings in the money. This is why their isn’t many female politicians. Many buy into the fallacy of societies pre-determined path and do what society expects.

The good news is that it is possible to break out of this twisted system and become anything you want. Not many people manage it, but it is definitely possible as we can see through many successful people who were from a background with disadvantages.  So…

How do you break out of the loop?

1. Stop doing what the media thinks you should do – Every time you give into their tactics of marketing, fear mongering and manipulation you reinforce your compliance towards their dogma. Eventually you will become another mindless zombie in front of the television, believing everything you are presented with. Learn to look out for when you are trying to be manipulated by the media and question everything you hear or see.
2. Turn of the T.V – I say this a lot but it is very important. Like I said the media like to try and warp you to buy into you pre-set out destiny.
3. Do what you think is right and not what others expect – Too many people don’t do things because they are worried about what other people may think. You need to stop this or you will be stuck in a rut following what society wants you to do and not what you want to do.
4. Realize that we are all the “same” – We are brought to believe that everyone is different and their is some sort of social ladder we need to climb. With the authoritarian like society we are brought up in it’s easy to believe that some people are superior or inferior to us. You need to realize that we are all human. Made up of the same flesh and the same blood, nobodies better than anyone else. Once you realize this you will no longer be scared or feel inferior to others, allowing you to reach brave new heights.

Breaking out of this system can be very difficult due to the constant and elaborate conditioning forced upon on us throughout every aspect of our lives. From our birth to our death we are fed lies and lead to believe we are powerless. When religion stopped working as much, the media took it’s place. Be vigilant, question everything and stay free.

–THE LONELY CROWDED WEST–